Small Town Stranger

Small Town Stranger is moving!

2009-08-24T12:54:00.001-05:00

I have had it with Blogger, so I am moving this blog beast!

The new url is as follows:

http://smalltownstranger.wordpress.com

Return from the Chicago Burbs

2009-08-21T22:01:00.004-05:00

After a week of being a social butterfly, I am retreating to my friggin' cacoon.

Sweet Corn Fever

2009-08-07T12:51:00.009-05:00

While I was growing up in northwest Iowa, my family survived on cheap roadside sweet corn that was boiled, grilled, roasted, and finally frozen for the long winters. I loved those first buttered ears of summer, yet I always grew tired of them by fall. As an adult, not much has changed. Last Saturday, I was eager to get to the Dubuque Farmer's Market as early as possible to get that first dozen, but after eating corn for a week straight, I am staring into my fridge wondering what the hell I'm going to do with the last four ears.

Suggestions, anyone?

On Saturday mornings in late July and throughout August, the Fincel's corn wagon is surrounded by a constant crowd at the Dubuque Farmer's Market. Sweet corn is an icon in Iowa and in Dubuque, Fincel's Sweet Corn is a delicious institution.

Suck it, Trebek

2009-08-05T14:12:00.007-05:00

I think I'm in love with Pub Quiz Trivia at The Busted Lift on Main Street.

Every Tuesday night, 9:30 pm at the pub below 180 Main (formerly called The Busted Lift)

That Abercrombie & Fitch Sticker Does Not Help Your Street Cred

2009-08-03T11:37:00.008-05:00

Photo Caption: Neighbor taps foot while listening to music below my bedroom window. Apparently, his door must be open for optimal foot tapping. Also, notice the menthol lights on the spoiler. They scream badass, don't they?

On the playlist,
1. Beyonce "Crazy in Love" played at 3:30 am, Monday, July 20

2. Lady Gaga "Poker Face" played 11:30 pm, Sunday, July 26 (I yelled "Take it inside, you assholes" while hanging out my bedroom window sporting scant clothing and crazed eyes. If any of the guys out there were straight, they probably crossed over to homosexual at that moment.)

3. Bette Midler "Wind Beneath my Wings" played at 5:30 pm, Friday, July 31 (Okay, dude, seriously, what are you trying to prove?)

4. Micheal Jackson "You are not Alone" played at 8:00 pm, Sunday, August 2 (Damn right, you're not alone. I'm taking your picture.)

5. Bonnie Raitt "Something to Talk About" played at 9:00 pm, Monday, August 3

Excerpt from a work-related e-mail.

2009-07-31T14:43:00.003-05:00

The eBook is there too!

ROCK AND ROLLA! SHAZAMMMMM….BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA.

Signed,
My Manager

I've been trying to add commentary, but I think the excerpt speaks for itself.

Second Lunch

2009-07-29T13:27:00.004-05:00

Olive Garden catered at work today. I knew it was coming, so I made sure to eat the Healthy Choice meal and blueberries I brought before it was delivered. That way I wouldn't be tempted, right?

However, as some of you may know, lasagna is my meal of choice (even when it's nasty--see the lasagnwitch incident of 2008). In short, lasagna is my cheesy, carb-loaded bitch of a temptress.

Two pieces of lasagna, one giant piece of raspberry cheesecake, and one bowl of Zuppa later, I am now in a cheese induced coma.

I may not be able to splurge at Taste of Dubuque this weekend.

Lasagnwitch, I hate you.

Psst...Call me later? I miss you already.

Do these trees make you nervous?

2009-07-27T20:46:00.003-05:00

Today's Lunch

2009-07-23T11:59:00.003-05:00

Asian Gourmet wooed me from my cubicle this afternoon. I knew my frozen meal was waiting for me, but I also knew my nagging craving for coconut curry would not rest.

I caved and compromised by having the lunch buffet, which I usually avoid because of my past bad experiences with Asian buffets. Even though it wasn't as good as the pad thai with shrimp (medium spice of course), it was still excellent. Here's what I had:

Vegetable Lo Mein-simple noodles mixed with sliced carrots, green onions, cabbage, and a light oil. It's really good with Lien's homeade sweet and sour sauce.

Masaman Beef Thai- Oh, holy god-sliced beef, onions, and potatoes drenched in coconut curry sauce and chopped peanuts. A huge WW point deduction, but completely worth the splurge.

Green Beans and Tofu with Black Bean Sauce-I wasn't planning on getting this until the notorious owner, Lien, told me it was good and plunked some on my plate. Not my favorite, but still pretty damn delicious.

Should I download fun facts from camping?

2009-07-22T12:06:00.005-05:00

I think I should!

Best Road Trip Game for driving across Wisconsin and most Midwest states:

Cows and the Graveyard (driver's side versus passenger side)

Rules
1 herd of cows = 1 point
1 herd of horses = 2 points
1 Graveyard = wipes out all points

Best words and catch phrases:
Should I...?--referring to the awkward teenage boy who waited on us at Culver's.

Convergence--Wisconsin River and Mississippi River Convergence

Crevice-- rock formation shaped like a crevice. Hey, is it just me or does that look like a...never mind

Turbid--found on a park information post to describe the waters. It means murky, by the way.

Sweet, sweet nectar--Appropriate for any kickass situation. Originally from ATHF when Carl bedazzles his above ground pool.
Carl: Oh, sweet, sweet nectar. It's like my pool is tearin' ass around the backyard. But it's stayin' still. Still waters run deep!

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA--A phrase my co-worker types in e-mails and shouts. A clap followed by a grunt is usually followed.

ah..ah...huh...huh...ah...AHHHH--noises from nearby campsite at about 7:00 am.

Sweet, sweet turbid nectar

2009-07-20T16:13:00.003-05:00

When RB asked me to go on an impromptu camping trip last Thursday, I was apprehensive mostly because I have been camping a total of three times in my life.

First Attempt: 1989, my backyard, rural northwest Iowa, I made it about an hour until I got scared and ran back into the house.

Second Attempt: 1992, Little Sioux Park, Correctionville, Iowa, 2 nights at 4-H Camp. Torrential Rain + Old Canvas Tent = I don't camp again until the year 2000.

Third Attempt: 2000, My high school friend's farm pond, 1 night. 6 Busch Lights, 2 Zimas, 1 Puking Rally.

Fourth Attempt: 2009, July 17-19, Wyalusing State Park, 2 nights, 4 new friends, great success! More details to come...

Obscure Dubuque Bar Crawl

2009-07-12T19:04:00.015-05:00

Would you hop into a car next to this faux puma skin clad girl with an incoherent look in her eyes?

Too late, you've already been kidnapped.

Friday night was the first annual (or should it be monthly?) Obscure Dubuque Bar Crawl. Before I moved to Dubuque many people familiar with the city said something similar, There's a church and a bar on every corner. While I found this fascinating, I also figured they were exaggerating. They were exaggerating a tad, but the fact still remains; there are a hell of a lot of churches and bars in Dubuque. Since I won't be doing a church crawl anytime soon (holy water burns my skin), a bar crawl seemed like a logical step to truly acquaint myself with Dubuque.

The evening started innocently enough with a tomato mozzarella salad. The recipe is from the "How to Eat Supper Cookbook" by Lynne Rosetto Kasper, my personal hero. The olive oil dressing coats the stomach, excellent preparation for an evening of debauchery.

First Stop: Europa Haus Restaurant and Bier Stube
Music: Classic F-ing Rock

Food selection: full german menu and nuts for sale

Restrooms: clean, paper towels, extra TP, ambience, lock on door, private, not near pool table
1301 Rhomberg AveDubuque, IA 52001-2227

(563) 588-0361

Second Stop: Chances R, seemed a little shady at first with bras hanging limply behind the bar, but we decided to give it a...wait for it...chance.

Music: Alt Rock

Food: Chips and nuts for sale

Restroom: clean, no extra TP, artifical floral smell, near pool table +Outdoor patio
1046 Central Ave Dubuque, IA 52001-5013(563) 557-5859

Our third and favorite stop was The Lounge. With a sweet outdoor patio, free popcorn, and a comfortable atmosphere.

Music: Classic jukebox

Food: bar menu including famous quesadillas and FREE popcorn

Restroom: clean, private, extra TP, towels, waiting area couch, fresh smell (not artificial), lock on door
481 Locust StDubuque, IA 52001-6940(563) 557-7768

The bathroom has an actual waiting area with mirrors! Fancy! You can also get down with yourself as my friend demonstrates below.

East Dubuque followed and it is a blur for me.

George & Dale's Food & Brew
Music: Live blues rock

Food: Bar menu = fried stuff

Restroom: dirty, smoky, no extra TP, lacking ambience, bad smell, private
Sinsinawa AveEast Dubuque, IL 61025-1217 (815) 747-8810

Beecher's

2009-07-10T12:23:00.003-05:00

Last night with my knee swollen to twice its size from a biking accident and my skin sunburned from a day of charity golf, I gave in to Beecher's Ice Cream. That place has been my siren song this summer. Most evenings I sit in my apartment thinking:

When is the last time I had Beecher's?
Is it worth it tonight?
How many Weight Watchers points are in a one scoop cone?
Maybe I won't get a cone this time.

The moment I set eyes on my butter pecan ice cream scooped into a giant waffle cone, I knew it was worth it. Dairy Queen, Cold Stone Creamery, and Ben & Jerry's (gasp!) can't compete with that creamy goodness.

Introducing...

2009-07-08T16:35:00.005-05:00

Midnight Michael Jackson, my youngest brother's new kitten. Her name was originally Midnight and I added the Michael Jackson in homage to the late King of Pop. I think the real Michael would be proud. She is adorable, extremely hyperactive, and affectionate. A notorious climber, she left multiple piercings in my jean legs. Ouch!

Back to Me

2009-06-23T10:20:00.004-05:00

Phew, break-ups are rough!

After the end of a nearly two-year relationship, I have found myself thrust into the Dubuque singles scene. When and where this scene is happening, I have no idea and I am perfectly fine with that.

More importantly, I am getting to know myself again. It seems like I can't be in a relationship without compromising myself in some way. Now, I don't have to compromise. This is a good time to write, read the books I love, spend time with friends and family, and do anything I want without asking for permission or feeling guilty.

Finally and most freeing, I can be my unabashed sarcastic, messy, weird, fun self without apologizing for it.

Putting the playlist back together

2009-06-15T16:14:00.004-05:00

iTunes has betrayed me for the last time.

I have lost every download, every purchase, every song when I need them most.

I suppose I'll have to sing my favorite moody music without the real songs to cover me.

This could get ugly...

The Coconut Cream Pie Cometh

2009-06-12T10:05:00.005-05:00

Note to self...don't ever verbalize/write that every aspect of your life is going well (see post from May 22, 2009). Just enjoy the wellness and shut up because statements like that are begging for a coconut cream pie right to the kisser.

Mmm...sad and hungry.

My First Cake Wreck

2009-06-03T13:08:00.004-05:00

As some of you may know, I am an editor for the Anatomy & Physiology list and each year a few members of the team travel to the HAPS (Human Anatomy & Physiology Society) convention to promote our text and media. This year, the team decided to use an Ace of Cakes bakery to create a cadaver cake for us to put in our booth. Three professors were selected from a drawing at the end of the conference to "dissect" the cake.

He is made out of red velvet cake...

The aftermath of Jack "Marrow" (I didn't make that one up)...

Something weird was in the air...

2009-06-01T15:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I woke up feeling gross.

Really gross.

Saturday evening, Andrew and I hiked at Mines of Spain just outside of Dubuque. Mines of Spain is awesome, by the way. I did pretty well while we were there, but the pollen took hold shortly after and I was subsequently screwed.

DAMN YOU, ALLERGIES!

Happy Birthday George!

2009-05-26T09:01:00.005-05:00

The Timeline of George the Plant

May 2004--I buy George at the Vermillion Hy-Vee.

September 2004--I begin grad school and George feels my stress.

December 2004--I break up with boyfriend; George makes his move.

Summer 2005--George and I move to a new Willow Street apartment (We both think the apartment sucks shortly after moving).

November 2005--George takes his place on top of the fridge.

Summer 2006--I graduate and nearly leave George with Twenter. At the last second, I change my mind and rescue him from the porch. George contemplates what his life would be like as an ashtray.

August-December 2006--George moves in with my mom. He is at the brink of death by December.

December 2006--George moves to Dubuque and takes his place in a sunny nook in a kick-ass dining room.

March 2007--George becomes extremely jealous of a sexy blooming Shamrock plant.

April 2007--Shamrock plant dies under suspicious circumstances.

August 2007--George meets Andrew. Andrew meets George.

Winter 2008--George is repotted.

May 2008--George is content in his roomy new home. He extends his roots and pops out a few more sprouts.

October 2008--George is joined by number of other plants that will remain nameless. They are set far away from George (Shamrock incident).

May 2009--George celebrates his fifth birthday in his cozy nook with a shot of water and Miracle Grow.

Saturday evening from a picnic table...

2009-05-23T20:30:00.004-05:00

I am sitting on a lone picnic table in Cooper Park tonight. Most of the cool people are on the river or camping in one of the parks around here; I am happy here in this little neglected park. I spent my morning at the Dubuque Farmer's Market buying milk, spinach, rhubarb, onions, and radishes; which I have been cooking with for the rest of the day. After chopping, melting, stirring, and baking all day; my demons are exercised; I am at peace. Vonnegut once said that semi-colons are for slackers, but screw it; I'm feeling lazy. Below are my market finds...

Hey, 27!

2009-05-22T11:54:00.010-05:00

I think I have now fully recovered from my birthday weekend

I'll start from the beginning....Good morning, twenty seven! I like the way that sounds; young and still a bit green, yet just enough life under the old belt to have a speck of wisdom. The morning scene from my living room window was a little dreary, but peaceful at the same time. That is just how I like it. I also love that I can see Wisconsin from my apartment.

Now crossing the bridge to Wisconsin...

At noon, I drove to the Potosi Brewery in Wisconsin, where I had to pick up donated cases of beer for the DubuqueFest book reception. During the twenty mile drive through the patchy rain and curving limestone bluffs and trees, I realized that I was doing everything I hoped to be doing when I ventured into college nearly nine years ago. I might not be in New York City or San Francisco as I'd once hoped, but for the first time since I was a teenager, I can say that every aspect of my life is going pretty well.

The rest of afternoon was crazy with picking up the books, coolers, other beverages, and sorting out our cash at the bank. Good times.

The book reception for Music and Dance went smoothly. Reigning in artsy types can be like herding cats, so I was pleased with the turnout, the music from Feast of Mutton (self-proclaimed modern gypsy music), the wine from Miss Kitty, and the food from Cafe Manna Java.

Our security guard for the evening was the only downside of the evening. I felt neither secure nor guarded around that guy, but I know all about his latest sinus infection and his most recent disappointing sexual trysts.

In the photo above, I am introducing and thanking people. On the right is my co-project editor. As one can see from our outfits, we are completely and comically opposite in most ways, but we clicked well throughout the project. I handled a lot of the spreadsheet, budget, planning stuff and she handled much of the design, layout, and copy editing aspects.

The evening was topped off at The Lounge, which is so cool that it doesn't have a website. The jukebox features songs like Walking after Midnight and Black Magic Woman. CE and I did the Swayze couples dance to Hungry Eyes. I was a mess since I can't dance sober.

Anyway, I am glad to be 27 and I am glad to be here!

That is all!

I have a Lincoln MKZ 2010 commerical in my head...

2009-05-07T16:08:00.005-05:00

After a little research, I found out that the song is called Major Tom by the Shiny Toy Guns. I absolutely love the part 4, 3, 2, 1...EARTH BELOW US, DRIFTING, FA-A-A-LLING, FLOATING WITH US, CALLING H-O-O-O-ME. It has been downloaded to my iTunes and I will listen until my ears turn numb.

DubuqueFest, DubuqueFest, DubuqueFest...that's the only thing on my mind these days. It is next weekend and it has always been my favorite Dubuque festival www.myspace.com/dubuquefestfineartfair.

Dubuque has multiple festivals every weekend throughout the summer, but I love this one because the weather is usually nice and there's this great hippie-bohemian-folksy-artsy vibe to it. I am planning the opening event/Writers Guild book project reception this year. Free. Food. Booze. Music. Readings. May 15. Dubuque Museum of Art. 7:00 p.m. Be there or be square.

IM breakdown

2009-04-30T09:45:00.001-05:00

Andrew [9:18 AM]:
this is why I didn't study english

Andrew [9:18 AM]:
http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bimonthly

Andrew [9:18 AM]:
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwords/bimonthly

Ashley [9:20 AM]:
that doesn't make sense

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients, possibly because one or more persons are offline:
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwords/bimonthly

Glass [9:20 AM]:
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwords/bimonthly

Glass Andrew [9:20 AM]:
yeah

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients, possibly because one or more persons are offline:
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwords/bimonthly

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients, possibly because one or more persons are offline:
yeah

Ashley [9:21 AM]:
don't blame the language.

Ashley [9:21 AM]:
blame merriam-webster

Andrew [9:21 AM]:
test

Andrew [9:21 AM]:
test

Andrew [9:22 AM]:
http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutwords/bimonthly

Andrew [9:22 AM]:
are you getting this?

Andrew [9:22 AM]:
its rejecting half my messages

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients, possibly because one or more persons are offline:
test

Ashley [9:23 AM]:
what are you doing?

PMP day

2009-04-28T14:34:00.002-05:00

Today is the day I enter my 2009 PMP (Performance Management Process) goals at work. AKA--Today is the day I copy and paste my goals from last year and tweak them to fit 2009.
It's not that it's tough. It just sucks.

Conversation between co-workers on the way from Asian Gourmet to Dairy Queen

2009-04-16T13:23:00.005-05:00

AW: I heard that someone's been pooping on the floor of the 3rd floor women's restroom.

Me: What's that?

AW: Someone's been pooping on the floor.

Me: What the hell? Who would do something like that?

AW: Someone who wants attention.

FS: Did you hear about the 13 stolen lunches in the building?

AW: No. What?

FS: Someone's been stealing lunches during the day and not frozen meals, actual lunches.

Me: Do you suppose it's the same person? Maybe they're eating the lunches and then expelling those same lunches all over the floor just to spite us all.

TM (who's been quietly driving): Is this real?

AW: Just ask the cleaning lady. She'll tell you how real it is.

TM: We've obviously got a psychopath in the building.

FS: Ugh. Can we change the subject?

TM: Extra hot fudge for me!

Die, Girl Scout Cookies, DIE

2009-04-15T16:35:00.003-05:00

Girl Scout Cookie season was over in our office a few weeks ago, but today someone placed a couple boxes of Carmel de Lites and Peanut Butter Patties on the counter outside my cube. Those are my two favorites. I don't know who put them out there or if the intent was kind or malicious. I don't care. I threw them away when no one was looking.

Sorry, I always get a tad tense before weigh-in days.

Isn't that where lions used to kill babies?

2009-04-09T15:26:00.013-05:00

The title of this post is what my mom said last night when I told her we saw the Colosseum in Rome. I kind of had to laugh at that, but then I thought, "Well, it's not out of the question."

It freakin' rained for the first three days of our trip. We arrived in Florence without our luggage, which added insult to injury. I received mine three days after we landed and Andrew received his four days later. That part sucked, but the rest of the trip was lovely.

This is the balcony off our hotel room in Florence. The hotel was small, clean, and comfortable.

For me, Florence was mostly about the food. Michelangelo's David and Botticelli's Birth of Venus were a close second and third.

There are many more pictures to come, but here's a little preview of what I've downloaded so far. I am missing some pictures because my camera lost power after about two days. Andrew has a bunch, so I just need to get the rest from him. After an intense 10 days together in small hotel rooms and planes, we needed some alone time.

By the way, 9 1/2 hour flight from Rome + snowstorm + O'Hare Intl. Airport=Unfathomable Hell

The Florence Duomo

River Arne near the Ponte Vecchio

The Golden View Restaurant where I tried tomato basil bread soup. It was like Italian baby food. Those are water bottles in case you were wondering.

The Ponte Vecchio

On the train to Pisa

I had to take a picture.

Andrew and a street in Pisa

Me trying to get a picture of the Leaning Tower. I missed it.

View from the top of the tower.

My umbrella went through some rough times on the narrow streets of Florence.

Pisa

I really didn't want to take this picture, so I made the face

Andrew's gorgeous photo of the Colosseum just before sunset.

The throne room of the ancient palace. I'm standing where the throne used to sit.

Looking over the ruins of the palace

Andrew and I dressed up and ready for an evening out. The Spanish Steps are in the background.

Out at dinner with lotso wine...

In front of Trevi Fountain

Isabella's Tonight

2009-03-25T12:59:00.002-05:00

I'm reading at Isabella's tonight at the Dubuque Area Writers Guild "Final Farewell to Isabella's" event. I'm nervous, but also excited. It has been so long since I've read anything. I think my desire to create is finally taking over my fear of rejection. I will miss that place. Drinking there is like drinking in your friend's basement in high school. I love it. I am reading a piece of microfiction and a eulogy to the bar.

Slogging, Bitching, and Biking

2009-03-18T16:00:00.005-05:00

I shouldn't be writing on my blog. I should be writing a painfully boring review questionnaire for one of my texts written by the most meticulous author on the planet. Needless to say, this little project has been taking way too long. It doesn't help that I have a flea's attention span. The brightest spot thus far is my discovery of http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/.

Thank you, AW.

My promotion has been dangling in front of my nose just out of reach for months now. I heard I was getting it and that it was approved and now it's being processed. I am thankful for my job, but my patience waning!

In other news, the Polar Bear Running Club is quickly coming to an end. CE and I have been running at 6:00 am three mornings a week since November, but CE will start riding her bike to work every morning and won't be able to run and bike since her workplace is across town and across some seriously hilly terrain (Kudos, lady! You're nuts!) . She's invited me to bike with her halfway for a morning workout, but I don't think it's going to work because I bike for fun, not for grueling exercise on a steep incline and biking dubuque is scary with all the narrow streets and lawless drivers. I only hope I can keep up with my exercise without her. It's been a vital part of keeping healthy and fit in the past five months! As of last weekend, I'm actually down to the size I was in high school (that's 2 sizes down from where I've been in the past 4 years)!

Andrew and I are off to eat corned beef and cabbage tonight. For Andrew Patrick, St. Patrick's Day is a week-long affair!

Pints to everyone!
VERY Restless Cube Dweller

The Jesus Saves Bus Rolls Again

2009-02-23T14:46:00.007-06:00

I've had a headache for about a month, so I decided to splurge on a professional massage this weekend. It was wonderful! I felt a little guilty about spending the money on it, but the results have been worth it. Within an hour, my headache was gone and it hasn't come back.

Dubuque was hit with a snowstorm Friday night through Saturday, so the whole spa was completely dead except for me. The spa is in an old mansion in East Dubuque, which is across the Mississippi River in Illinois. The massage therapist kept telling me that I could relax as long as I wanted (they had a room full of leather recliners and a fireplace where people could hang out), but I felt a little strange being naked under a thin terrycloth robe in that empty dark mansion.

While I was driving to Andrew's last night, I ended up behind a school bus with the words "Jesus Saves" on the back. I don't know if he does, but I'm pretty sure I'll go to a masseuse every other weekend versus mass.

F Bombs Explode

2009-02-20T10:28:00.003-06:00

My favorite pen exploded in my favorite bag this morning. The bag is now sitting forlourn in my bathtub soaking in Shout!. Also, my hand is stained blue from the ink despite my desperate scrubbing.

My job makes me want to curl up in the fetal position under my cubicle desk right now.

None of this really matters because it's Friday, I'm going to Asian Gourmet, and I'm watching the last episode of Conan tonight.

Picture me rollin'...

2009-02-11T12:25:00.008-06:00

Last Saturday I bowled at Cherry Lanes to help raise money for Junior Achievement of Iowa. I am a horrible bowler, but I thought it would be fun.

Check out the sweet bowling form...

My first strike!

A backside view of the team

Here's my score. I was proud of the last round (133), but the rest was pretty pitiful (after three rounds, my total score was only 178).

My Apartment/Playing around with the new camera

2009-02-04T12:33:00.006-06:00

Here are a few pics from around the apartment...

Notice the cool sconces on the wall. They light up, but are way too bright. The mirror was a clearance find at Pier One. It matches the rest of the room perfectly. It was fate, I think.

Little kitchen, dining room, and George (plant on the left). Yes, he's still kickin'.

RCD Buys a Camera

2009-01-27T12:19:00.003-06:00

Yes, that's right everyone. For the first time since I was a senior in high school, I have a real camera. Once I figure out how it works, I'll be posting lots of photos!

Story of the Pants

2009-01-23T10:38:00.000-06:00

In 2005, I was on spring break shopping at Macy’s in New York City when I found a pair of Michael Kors dress pants that were 80% off the original price. When I tried them on, I couldn’t quite button them, but I thought I’ll be able to get them buttoned by the end of spring, right?

Today, almost four years later, they are comfortably buttoned with a little room to spare.

Weight Watchers, you rock!

Waiting for the plow...

2009-01-14T08:34:00.002-06:00

I love days like this when I can sit at my dining room table high above the city and look down at all those who have to brush the snow off their cars and drive to work. The plows usually scrape my streets last, so I have the perfect excuse to put on my slippers and plunk down next to the radiator with my laptop.

I need to add another resolution to my list if it's not too late. My writing has been slipping in the past year or two. After I finished my MA, I loathed my writing, so I stopped all together. Now I can feel my creativity, my vocabulary, and my grammar skills slipping out of my mind. It's terrifying.

So, I plan to write everyday in 2009. We'll see how it goes.

In other news, the moderator of the Dubuque Area Writers Guild has stepped down. She is/was heroic in that role, and I will miss working with her. Now the group is in a panic to revitalize the organization and keep it going.

Rats, there goes the snow plow. That's what I get for being so cocky.

Back to the cube! (sound of whip cracking)

New Year's Goals/Resolutions

2009-01-05T15:12:00.004-06:00

#1: Get to Europe/Italy this year, come hell or high water.
#2: Stay healthy by exercising at least 3 times a week and eating well.
#3: Maintain the weight loss accomplished in 2008
#4: READ MORE!

SNPOW!

2008-12-19T16:43:00.002-06:00

Dubuque received thundersnow last night and now we are buried under almost 10 inches of thick, cold mush. Of course, my Taurus was parked on the street last night, so the snow plow buried it further into the snowbank. Thankfully, two kind neighbors helped me dig out this afternoon.

Two Years a Dubuquer

2008-12-18T15:04:00.004-06:00

Today is my two year anniversary at work. Time flies, so they say. I remember starting this job feeling completely overwhelmed with new information, ideas, and people. When I started, I was placed in the food cubicle. This was a cubicle that had been empty for over a year, so everyone used it for potluck lunches and treats. People would still come in with their pots of casserole over the lunch hour and say, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know they put somebody in here."

Here are some things I've learned in the office and around Dubuque:

1. Turkey & Dressing Sandwich=nasty mushy bread sandwich.
2. Euchre is confusing beyond words
3. Words to live by in the office, "Don't be an idiot."
4. Reading can actually be fun.
5. Just because one earns a PhD, doesn't mean that one has any common sense (referring to the hundreds of science professors I communicate with each year).
6. Treats can be vindictive.
7. The fact that I can now relate to Dilbert cartoons is scary.
8. Probably the biggest lesson of the years: It's not what people say; it's what they do.

The Lasagnwitch

2008-12-15T12:47:00.002-06:00

"Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's Half-Acre..."

My week-old cold lasagna called to me from its resting place in the refrigerator last night.

I caved and now I'm in another dimension being chased by some dude with an ax. This sucks.

Thanks List

2008-11-26T09:49:00.004-06:00

A job that I like most of the time
My cozy little apartment with wood floors and a view (I can see Wisconsin from my house :)
Andrew
Supportive friends in Iowa, SoDak, and beyond.
My family, who always make me laugh.
U of South Dakota, for shaping me into who I am today.
Dubuque, for restoring my pride in being "born and raised" in Iowa.

Displaced

2008-11-24T12:51:00.004-06:00

This is what my brain is doing on this Monday afternoon...

Wee!

It's conveniently decided to take the whole week off for the holiday. Everytime I try to use it, I get the old out of office message.
"Thanks for contacting RCD's brain, I'll be out of the skull enjoying chilled martinis in the clouds while RCD's body slumps in a cubicle for three days. I'll return your message on December 1, if you're lucky. Mwah-ha-ha."

Anyway...

the following photos are from the U of I game that Andrew and I saw two weeks ago. It was FREEZING , but it was totally worth it. When we got out the car, there was a steady stream of slowly moving students all headed in the same direction toward the stadium. Very much like Dawn of the Dead.

2008-11-20T14:13:00.006-06:00

Go Chickens!

2008-11-19T14:28:00.002-06:00

Chickens-1 Rabbits-0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybVb3t560oY

Health Screening and the Blog Presentation

2008-11-14T12:18:00.009-06:00

Two big accomplishments this week:

My company asked its employees to participate in a health screening.

Here are my results:

I am pretty proud of myself. In fact, some of my co-workers might get together and toss me down the elevator shaft in response (I've been strutting around the office with these results and getting a few eye rolls) .

The next accomplishment: Blog Presentation

I used a blog for a work project last spring when I invited professors from around the country to help with developing a book. I posted drafts of the author's chapters and the bloggers gave their suggestions and the author chimed in when needed. When my manager asked me to present on the process, I was struck with terror. I hate presenting.

So, here's how the Lunch and Learn went:

Me: Welcome to my blog presentation, here's the agenda, here's the technical definition of a blog, blah, blah, blah.

Group: sounds of eating lunch (and the sounds of crickets)

Me: Before I show you a company hosted blog, let me show you a few fun, personal blogs. If you like heinous grammar errors and cakes, you'll probably like this blog called "Cake Wrecks."

Group: Blank stare for about 30 seconds.

Me: This cake is actually supposed to say "fail", not "fial" (gesturing "come on" with my hands--use your imagination)

Group: Uproar of laughter

Me: Now, let me show you the "Sexual Harassment" cake...

Group: Can we see the "Fireman" cake?

Me: No

The weird thing is that I almost cut Cake Wrecks from my presentation because I thought it would take it off course, when if fact, it saved it. The group was so much more excited and receptive after I showed them the site. I guess it makes sense since I was presenting to a bunch of cake-loving editors.

After Lunch Lull

2008-11-07T13:14:00.002-06:00

The sweet, sour, salty, spicy Pad Thai at Asian Gourmet on West 11th is quite possibly the most wonderful food on the planet. If one can get past the shoddy decor and the owner, who is hell bent on being an asshole, the restaurant is heaven.

Andrew

2008-11-03T14:17:00.008-06:00

This is the view from my office today. Throngs of Sarah Palin fans are lining up to see her. Gross. I was really hoping no one would show. I kind of wanted to hit them with my car when I came back from lunch today. Also, note the bizarre sculpture the city placed on the lawn this summer. It looks like a robotic ring pop.

In any case, I think I'm a cuter Sarah Palin.

Onto the title of this posting. Andrew and I went to Omaha on Halloween night. I had my apprehensions about driving so far, but I thought it might be fun to get out of Dubuque for a night or two. It ended up being not so enjoyable. After two martini's, I became sick, projectile green vomit Exorcist sick.

On Saturday morning, we made an impromptu trip to Des Moines, got a nice hotel room, and I proceeded to recuperate. Essentially, Andrew gave up the rest of his weekend with his friends, so I could rest and feel better.

I am impressed.

Ruh-roh

2008-10-28T13:36:00.003-05:00

My company just announced that they would be eliminating 270 positions. I hate not knowing who is getting the ax. Just tell me already! I assume I'll know if I'm still employed here by the end of November.

In any case, I'm going to start practicing my food service/begging skills now.

We have baked potatoes, french fries, home fries, mashed potatoes, or potato salad

or perhaps

Chicken or beef? Rice or beans?

or maybe

Spare change? Can you spare me a friggin' quarter?

Adventures in Pumpkin Carving

2008-10-27T13:03:00.010-05:00

One comment about today: COLD!

Last Saturday, Andrew and I went to Pizzeria Uno's in Platteville, WI. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Uno's, the original restaurant is in Chicago, and they are famous for their deep dish pizzas. My two slices were a fantastic splurge of my Weight Watchers points.

Later that evening, we decided to carve pumpkins. In my whimsy, I managed to drop my pumpkin on Andrew's front step. The stem broke and the pumpkin made a fabulous "thwack" sound on the cement.

My pumpkin was cracked and oozing, so I made my pitiful apologies. Please ignore the Wal-Mart bags. I never shop there. I swear. :)

Because of my pumpkin's accident, I carved it sideways instead of upright. This proved to be a little difficult due to the wobbling.

Below is my reaction to Andrew taking my picture without my consent.

Here are the finished pumpkins. Andrew's is the more traditional one on the right. Mine is the one that looks a little high on the left.

Ooh spooky...

Poetry Slam Photos

2008-10-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

The photos have been posted at www.digitaldubuque.com

Back to Normal

2008-10-22T15:22:00.006-05:00

I think the October drama is finally coming to a close. The boiler in my apartment building has finally been lit (heat! hooray!), the poetry slam was a major success, and all is quiet at work.

I also found a few photos that some of you might recognize.

Remember the crazy trip to Indy in Fall 2006? I was going through my old e-mails when I came across these and I thought, "What the hell! I'll post 'em!"

Ah, memories...

the scary hostel with pipes and wires hanging from the ceiling...

The hanging hand attached to the light pull...

The debauchery...I deleted the pool photo of me because it was a rather unflattering shot of me drenched, white, and tipsy.

Ladies, let's road trip it again some time! Maybe next time we can go to another exotic city like Cleveland or Flint, Michigan? What do you think?

This Month's Profit and Loss Report

2008-10-20T16:16:00.006-05:00

One death, one birthday, one successful event, eight point two lost pounds, one thousand two hundred miles on my car in three weeks, and a million bittersweet miles from where I started.

AG-Out of respect to you, I deleted the soul mate thing because he never was and never will be; however, you are in the running.

Returning Home in October

2008-10-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

Early October hills blaze
with crimson, orange, and yellow,
but the sadness of today mutes their richness.
Silent are the fields you diligently tended.
Tranquil is the autumn breeze
that once dusted your warm skin
with earth and corn husks.
Today, geese across Iowa are settling in fields
dressed in their somber blacks and grays.
calling to you with soft reassuring murmurs.
They are welcoming you back
to the hills you always called home
as we say our goodbyes.

Thanks, C.

As simple as writing a poem

2008-10-06T14:50:00.002-05:00

I have been asked to write a poem to be placed on a program for my grandpa's funeral.

I feel numb, exhausted, weepy, and now I am supposed to write coherantly.

I only hope to do his life justice.

So, so weary

2008-10-01T16:11:00.000-05:00

and that is all.

Gala Weekend

2008-09-29T11:16:00.008-05:00

I can't believe it's Monday already. The weekend was busy. Very busy. Friday was the annual VNA Gala, which is a very fancy charity event in Dubuque. A prom for grown-ups. Andrew and I dressed up and enjoyed the buffet. Here is the chocolate fountain and a lovely view of my arm.

The Grand River Center and the non-descript ice-sculpture:

The signature drink. It involved champagne and raspberries.

Andrew and I

We snuck out as the dueling pianos got started at 10:00 pm. People were requesting Iowa fight songs. Classy.

Saturday we spent the afternoon at Voices in the Warehouse children's story hour where I helped kids make sock puppets and Andrew sat in a corner with his thoughts. I made a dirty pirate hooker puppet that the kids loved (photos to come).

Then we went apple picking at Czipar's Apple Festival...

Actually, we skipped the picking process and just bought a pie. Mmm...

Detox

2008-09-26T14:27:00.002-05:00

There were no nightmares last night; for that I am thankful.
Illusions of what was and what could have been aren't haunting me as much any more.
Though when they do strike, I am struck by a puddle turned tidal wave.
When the water recedes, I am right back where I started.
Marooned in my own little tide pool just before dawn.
So far away.

Autumn Equinox

2008-09-22T11:29:00.003-05:00

I am dressed in a black sweater and a skirt covered in brown leaves today to celebrate the first day of autumn. I do not understand those who are still wearing summery clothes and are mourning the loss of summer. I do not loathe the cold (I may not be saying this in February, but hear me out). I embrace the fact that everything living is now in the process of dying, nothing is permanent. Dubuque is especially beautiful in autumn. The bluffs are ablaze with vibrant leaves, the festivals finish, and all that can be heard on a late weekend night are the melancholy hoots of trains passing through the city and across the river.

My poetry slam is coming up on October 18. I probably shouldn't call it "mine" since others have been involved with the planning, but I feel very proud that I have helped with the event (I applied and will be receiving $1,500 in grant money from my company for prize money). I am excited and nervous about the event. My greatest fear is that only locals will register to perform. I really want to give Dubuque a taste of a real poetry slam. As far as I know, we only have 3 outsiders signed up. I want more!

RCD Takes a Stand

2008-09-18T16:21:00.011-05:00

*Regarding a "team building" venture into the woods*

Dear Manager,

I read your letter carefully and considered your points thoughtfully, but I still come to the same conclusion. I don’t consider this activity a good use of my time.

I participated last year, and felt uncomfortable with the premise. It didn’t seem like play to me. In fact, it seemed like punishment. Lifting co-workers above my head, catching them, and tossing them over spools nailed to trees felt like an embarrassing exercise to me. Furthermore, any work-related issues we discussed out on the course were never really applied in a tangible way once we returned to the office.

I do not have any ill feelings toward our digital team and I feel bonded to my co-workers already. I believe that we all have the best intentions even though we all get frustrated at times.

In any case, it is not clear to me how playing in the woods remedies these frustrations in any real way.

Thanks,
RCD

The Universe Packs a Punch

2008-09-18T16:21:00.006-05:00

My best friend/co-worker in Dubuque is quitting her job and I am sad. We live an elevator ride away from each other, so I know I will see her. But, it simply will not be the same. That is us above with our cool scarves wrapped elderly-style.

Behold my future.

Something else called it quits this week. A battery operated device I called "Bob". Bob is now dead and will never rise again. Again, things will never be the same.

My bosses are putting together a team-building exercise where our groups go out into the woods, hang from ropes, jump through trees, and "bond" for an afternoon. I RSVP'd "no" because I did it last year and I thought it truly sucked. Now I am being badgered with all this passive agressive nonsense. They didn't make it mandatory; therefore, they gave me a choice. My choice was "not attending". This should be simple...right??

Friday can't come soon enough!

A new nemesis

2008-09-12T15:38:00.002-05:00

Cunningham 4e/5e Correlation Guide
Chapter 3
New Fifth Edition Figures
4e Figure #
5e Figure #
Description
Figure
Description

I accidently pasted some of my work into this blog posting when I tried to insert a photo. Even though it makes no sense to an outsider and very little sense to me, I'm leaving it because it truly represents my long week of numerous bullshit tasks. I am not bitter. I repeat; I am not bitter.

Okay, I'm fucking bitter.

Power Hour + Dancing Obnoxiously at Gin Rickey's=FUN

2008-09-08T22:15:00.002-05:00

I humbly apologize to all the douche-bags I mocked last weekend. I have exposed you to my kick-ass dance moves. Dubuque, you've just been served.

Dubuque Des Moines Sioux City Dubuque

2008-09-02T11:23:00.008-05:00

Another trip to my hometown over and done. I've never been a fan of driving anywhere, but I've been trying harder to appreciate the journey. The soundtrack is always important. This time it consisted of Patty Griffin and a couple of mixed folk/pop/weird CD's to keep me alert. I sang, I imagined conversations with imagined people, and I pondered.

With my family split and scattered across the state, I can only attempt to manage my travels over holiday weekends. My first stop last Friday was at my dad's in Ankeny, a suburb of Des Moines. Appropriately, I played "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds as I drove into Ankeny, where ranch homes are plentiful and the signs of chain stores and restaurants dominate the landscape. My dad and his wife are into "stuff". New cars, plasma tv's, leather furniture, a perfectly maintained yard, and their seven white cats are high priorities. I find this attitude superficial, but I try to view it with a sense of amusement. Especially amusing was watching my dad, who used to hate cats, attempt to grab each cat and place him gently into large cages in the backyard while the poor creature growled at him with contempt.

Another highlight of my visit was the Des Moines Farmer's Market, held downtown on Saturday mornings. I was impressed with not only the size of the market, but also the food vendors. I don't like breakfast burritos, but the ones served at this place were wonderful, like Iowa stuffed into a tortilla. Each burrito was stuffed with eggs, diced potatoes, crumbled bacon, sausage, and topped with onions, sour cream, peppers, and salsa. Roasted corn on the cob was of course present as well.

After bidding farewell to my dad, his wife, and their pets, I was on the road yet again for a three hour drive to Lawton, Iowa. As I hauled my tired ass up the stairs to my mom's front door, I heard the faint sound of chickens, two to be exact. It turns out that these were the infamous "Easter chicks" my mom bought on a whim. Now they are full grown and looking surprisingly alive.

I found peace at my mom's. With no tv, no internet, and relatively little distraction, I could almost hear my brain sigh. I spent Saturday evening, Sunday, and Monday morning with my mom and brothers. I did very little, but enjoyed every minute of it.

Dark Chocolate Coconut Oatmeal Cookies

2008-08-25T10:43:00.002-05:00

I tried this recipe over the weekend and it was very successful! It's from Cooking Light magazine, but I made some adjustments in the chocolate and coconut. The original recipe called for a measly 1/4 cup of dark chocolate and 1/4 cup of coconut. F*** that! I jacked it up to 1 cup of dark chocolate and 1/2 cup of coconut. The original bake time was 15 minutes, but I suggest cooking them for 10-12 minutes. They are softer that way!

Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup quick-cooking oats
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
6 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 large egg
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
1 cup finely chopped dark chocolate
Cooking spray

Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Weigh or lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; stir with a whisk.
3. Place sugars and butter in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 2 minutes). Add egg, beating well. Beat in vanilla. Add flour mixture to butter mixture; stir just until combined. Stir in coconut and chocolate.
4. Scrape dough onto a lightly floured surface, and divide into 24 portions. Roll each portion into a ball. Place 12 balls on each of 2 baking sheets coated with cooking spray; flatten slightly with the heel of your hand. Bake, 1 sheet at a time, at 350° for 10-12 minutes or until the tops are set and cookies are lightly browned on the bottoms. Remove cookies from pan; cool on wire racks.

My Alien Uncle

2008-08-22T15:39:00.007-05:00

From left to right, Uncle Mark, Grandpa & Grandma, Dad. Photo is from Uncle Mark's visit to my dad's home in Ankeny, IA this summer.

"Uncle Mark is a freak." That is direct quote from my mother. Growing up, I never knew him. He moved to Australia when I was four and I didn't see him again until I was a teenager. Then he moved to the east coast, now he lives in Las Vegas. He has children, but I've haven't met them since they were little.

Love/Hate

2008-08-20T14:20:00.002-05:00

The puppy has stained the rug again and I cannot bring myself to punish him. The puppy is an asshole.

Painting the Apartment: Part I

2008-08-20T14:13:00.003-05:00

I was a woman obsessed with painting last weekend. It was like a sickness. I couldn't stop. It started with one wall, then another, then the ceiling, then the trim, then the radiators, then...
I ran out of paint.

Drat.

The End of Volleyball...sniffle

2008-08-15T09:39:00.003-05:00

Our last volleyball game was 8/13/08. I was constantly in the sand, so the team made me lie down for the picture.

Cake Wrecks

2008-08-13T11:24:00.002-05:00

Please check out my new "Blog of Note" entitled "Cake Wrecks."

My friend and co-worker describes the site best:
"You’ll like this site. It feeds the righteous anger of the inner proofreader and makes you want to avoid cake: win-win! "

Silence

2008-08-05T15:53:00.004-05:00

Last week was insanely busy and this week is blissfully still. All I hear right now is white noise and my typing.

Wonderful.

Gray hairs have started to appear at the top of my head and I'm feeling a bit mortified. I'm 26 for Christ's sake. I was hoping I wouldn't inherit the early gray hair genes my mother battled, but I guess since I inherited everything else from her, it is inevitable. Each hair sticks straight up as if it is growing toward the sky while I whisper to myself, do not pluck, do not pluck, do not pluck.

Dear SF,

2008-08-01T11:02:00.007-05:00

When you cling to windows with your Smuckers jelly feet, I applaud you for your patience to hatch only when the Mississippi River sinks enough to reveal it's muddy sandbars, for your veracious need to reproduce as soon as you enter the world, and for your ignorance of your death soon to follow.

With love,
Another Single Fishfly

We lost 2 out of 3

2008-07-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

but we won in overall points.

Volleyball Night

2008-07-30T15:30:00.002-05:00

Sand volleyball is not my forte, but for some reason, I insist on playing every summer. My team's record is 1-9 (we had 1 forfeit) and we're hoping for a comeback tonight. We're an awkward assembly of teammates. The team is a combination of middle-aged women; their children, who range from age 11-19 (we make them play when we get tired or when no one else shows); and the three twenty-somethings (myself included). One of the twenty-somethings can't hit the ball, but will hit you in face if you get too close.

In other news, all the McGraw-Hill head honchos will be in Florida for the national sales meeting next week, and I can't wait! The tension is building in the offices and my sponsoring editors are beginning to froth at the mouth. I was trying to find a place to hide in our copyroom this afternoon.

The Sound of Two Hands Clapping

2008-07-28T16:35:00.003-05:00

My co-worker likes to clap

in his office
in the hallway
in the bathroom
in the fitness center

He is a one man band
his own cheerleader
until he involves me.

High-fives dismantle the universe.

Friday

2008-07-18T09:32:00.004-05:00

I am cubed.

I find it is very difficult to be locked away in an office during the summer. This is when I think about teaching again. Even though it is so wonderful to be able to "clock out" at the end of the day, my freedom always seems compromised. Being on the fourth floor and having my window looking over the Mississippi every day only adds to the feeling.

So close, yet so far.

I've started writing more often and I have a new short story/essay that I'm excited about. That hasn't happened in a while (writing / excitement about my own writing). It started when I was writing in my journal (Thanks, Courtney--I'm still using it) and it was like my mind and pen went crazy with ideas. I love when that happens!

In other news...

The Iowa State Fair is coming soon! It is like a county fair on acid. My favorite parts are the butter sculptures and all of the deep-fried delicacies. Although I heard that the "new" food this year is grilled pineapple on a stick. I plan to stick with the deep-fried Snickers, thank you very much.

Last, but not least. Candace Eudaley and I received second place at the McGraw-Hill Bean Bag Championship. Much blood and sweat was shed in the great near-victory.

Sadly, we got our asses handed to us by two interns. We drowned our sorrows afterwards with vodka lemonade and PBR.

New Music

2008-07-15T14:25:00.002-05:00

I finished the third season of Weeds last week. Mostly, I was disappointed with the season. I've always enjoyed the dark humor of the show, but now it seems that the humor has disappeared and darkness has overtaken the entire plot. I'll still keep watching, though. Mary Louise Parker is a brilliant actress.

One standout of the season is the soundtrack. A couple favorites are "Keepsake" by State Radio and "Rocky Spine" by Great Lake Swimmers. The lyrics are so poetic.

Here's a little excerpt of the lyrics from "Rocky Spine":

The mountains said I could find you here
They whispered the snow and the leaves in my ear
I traced my finger along your trails
Your body was the map, I was lost in it

Floating over your rocky spine
The glaciers made you, and now you're mine

Good eh?

Little Bros

2008-06-30T20:28:00.005-05:00

Below are some pictures of my little brothers. They're not really so little.

This is from the day I picked them up in Grundy Center. Austin is on the left. He is seventeen and full of teenage hell. Aaron is on the right. He is ten and an avid reader. I guess he takes after his sister! We all look so much alike, don't we?

Austin and Aaron in front of the Budweiser Clydesdales. Riverfest was going on the weekend they arrived, so we walked down to check it out. Austin's observation: "This is kind of retarded."

Aaron standing on the wall that surrounds my apartment. In the background is the playground that my window overlooks. Austin's comment: "I wish I had my paintball gun. I would totally nail some of those kids." I tended to agree with him on that one.

I am...

2008-06-30T20:06:00.002-05:00

feeling restless. More restless than usual and I'm not sure why.

Summers are always this way for me. I feel that I can't get enough done. There is no excuse for laziness in the heat of summer!

Two happy events. 1: a new coffee shop opened up nearby. It's called the Naughty Dog. It's in this amazing old refurbished building and customers are encouraged to bring their dogs. 2: Breitbach's in Balltown (just outside of Dubuque and yes, I know the city has an entertaining name) reopened a couple weeks ago and it is better than ever. Before it was devastated by a fire last December, it was know as the oldest restaurant in Iowa. Andrew and I went there for lunch on Sunday and it was really great!

On a sad note, I have stopped going to Asian Gourmet, my once favorite restaurant. The owner and I are in a bit of a lover's quarrel. Seriously, the food has really lost it's appeal and general tastiness in the past few months. I am willing to put up with the owner's Soup Naziesque ways if the food is wonderful, but I simply cannot continue to patronize a business that if both aspects are in the tank.

Who the hell are you?

2008-06-22T19:17:00.003-05:00

Pardon me for telling a Facebook story, but I can't help myself.

A couple of weeks ago, a woman "friended" me on Facebook. Usually, if I don't recognize the name, I don't accept the friend, but this time I was intrigued. Her face was small in the tiny notification box and her name was not particularly unique, yet there was something familiar about her. I could see that she was from my hometown, which added to my intrigue. My curiosity overtook my paranoid logic and, hooray, we were friends.

I was pensive as I loaded her profile page on my laptop. Questions rattled my brain: Who is the mystery person? Why does she think we're friends? Is she a crazy psychotic schizophrenic bipolar manic depressed stalker?

Her Facebook profile was like a picture novel. She had nearly every Facebook application known to man/woman loaded on her page. Her profile photo was of her clad in pink rollerskates with purple flames, thigh-high ripped black nylons, and a neon pink ripped short that hung off her shoulders; think Jennifer Beals in Flash Dance. Her interests included "roller derby, picking scabs, and bruising other chicks."

Just as I was reaching for the "delete friend" link, I noticed her eyes. They were small and dark; surrounded by pale, freckled skin; I remembered the school bus winding up to her house just as sun broke away and ascended from the Loess Hills. I remembered how she sat in her seat and sketched black eyeliner around her eyelids every morning as the bus shuddered and bounced over the cracked highway.

I had admired her when I was in middle school. She was two years older than me, had the right clothes, the right friends, and her skin was like freckle-specked porcelain. I remember wanting to be just like her.

Neglected Child

2008-06-18T14:43:00.002-05:00

I am trying not to neglect you, dear blog.

My brothers are staying with me this week and I am amazed with their appetites. I don't know how my mother has coped over the past year (she hasn't been working). I keep making these huge meals and within minutes they are gone. I"m not sure if I can attribute that to their ages (10 and 17), or if they just haven't had a full meal in so long that they feel the need to stock up while they can. It pains me to be so far away from them. Life will get better; I promise them, but I don't really know if that will be true.

Sometimes all one can do is hope...

Home

2008-06-03T15:01:00.004-05:00

I am back in Dubuque and thankful to be here. My four day business trip to Boston was quite interesting, but as always, trips for work are incredibly depleting. We arrived at Logan Intl. Airport Thursday afternoon. My co-worker and the leader of this expedition (we'll call him James) accompanied me to Boston nearly one month ago and we were very, very lost, losing countless hours on the road, so I insisted on purchasing a GPS unit for the rental car.

After picking up one of our authors, James punched in the coordinates for Salem, MA. Our author proceeded to talk about microbiology things. Her opening story was about one of her friends who recently pulled an enormous tapeworm out of her husband. She then threw it into the bathtub in order to clean and study it. Microbiologists all seem to have a remarkable sense of humor. One of the other authors I work with explained that when one is interested in studying puss-filled things and other disgusting human functions, one has to have a sense of humor. We proceeded an hour north of Boston when I realized that signs were going by that screamed Salem, New Hampshire. As nicely as I could, I queried, "James, what state did you put into the GPS unit?" We soon pulled over, went to lunch, and had to regroup. To make a long story short, it took 4 1/2 hours to get to our hotel when it should've taken about 20 minutes. See map below for reference.

Other than that little mishap, the microbiology conference we attended was quite a success. We had a wild dinner in Salem, MA Saturday night and some very busy author corners during the exhibiting hours. One of my fondest memories of the trip was a little restaurant called Dom's Trattoria in Beverly Farms http://www.domstrattoria.com/. The portions were massive and the food was incredibly fresh. I had angel hair pasta with pesto sauce that was wonderful.

My Impending Birthday

2008-05-13T13:08:00.004-05:00

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

May 15
You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.

Your strength: Your intense optimism
Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents

Your power color: Jade
Your power symbol: Flower
Your power month: June

Things to see and do on Iowa Highway 20

2008-05-12T11:20:00.008-05:00

1. Count the number of anti-abortion billboards (about 20, I think).

2. View the windfarms

3. Try not to monster truck it over the numerous Buick LeSabres, which are usually going 35 in a 55.

4. Enjoy the Barn Quilt Blocks.

5. Stop at Grundy Center for Arby's/Godfather's/John Deere Gear.

6. Ponder over the "Deadbeat mothers burn in hell" sign with American flags near Waterloo. The sign really needs more explanation.

Turkey and Dressing Sandwiches and Euchre

2008-04-07T10:41:00.002-05:00

I attended a Dubuque themed party thrown by one of the editors here last Saturday. "What does a Dubuque themed party consist of?" one might ask. First there are Turkey and Dressing Sandwiches. These sandwiches contain shreds of turkey, turkey juice, and lots of stuffing between a bun. I've only seen these here. Candace, a native Dubuquer who was sitting next to me and who is a vegetarian, leaned over while we were eating and said "Nobody actually likes them. We just pretend." So, I smiled as I choked down the massive turkey-flavored clumps of starch and chased it with a swig of PBR.

Then I learned to play Euchre, which is extremely popular and confusing.

So it's official, I'm a Dubuquer who plays Euchre. My life is complete (hint of sarcasm).

A New Favorite Quote

2008-04-03T09:22:00.004-05:00

I recently read and thoroughly enjoyed Kitchen Confidential written by Anthony Bourdain. I've worked in numerous restaurants in the past ten years, so I could really relate to his stories. The quote below is perfect for almost any profession.

"Assume the worst. About everybody. But don't let this poisoned outlook affect your job performance. Let it all roll off your back. Ignore it. Be amused by what you see and suspect. Just because someone you work with is a miserable, treacherous, self-serving, capricious and corrupt asshole shouldn't prevent you from enjoying their company, working with them or finding them entertaining. This business grows assholes; it's our principal export. I'm an asshole. You should probably be an asshole too." --Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

Passport

2008-03-29T11:32:00.002-05:00

I received my US Passport this morning! Woo-hoo! Now I can finally leave the country!

Welcoming

2008-03-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Ahh, my first blog post not meant for work purposes.

It is a rather lackluster Friday afternoon. I have some angry authors and multiple stacks of manuscript on my desk I do not want to go through, so instead I will happily pop my new post blog cherry.

The photo to the left is the train bridge in Dubuque. I took a boat tour of the Mississippi with my friend Audrey last fall and this is one of my favorite pictures from the trip. I like the way the water glimmers just a little.

Each winter, from late January through March, bald eagles migrate to the area. They are gone now, but earlier this month they perched on the trees next to river and dove off the branches to nab fish out of the river. It is an amazing site that makes me feel thankful to live here.